Four Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce
Marriages like people are highly variable and no generic litmus can be applied to any relationship that works in 100% of cases. However, people like to write articles and in some cases, they touch upon specific risk factors that make a certain type of sense. However, you should not interpret these articles as heralding the absolute demise of your marriage. Nor should you ignore red flags in your relationship that make you feel unfulfilled. With that disclaimer in mind, these are four factors that may herald the end of your marriage.
#1. Toxic Criticism
One of the main risk factors for divorce was toxic criticism. What is toxic criticism and how can one differentiate it from fair criticism? The article very generally says that a spouse who criticizes their spouse’s character as opposed to some act or framing their criticism in terms of feelings is running the risk of divorce. However, everyone generalizes sometimes and we sometimes do not use sufficient tact in communication. The other side of this is that if you broach a topic in terms of how you’re feeling as opposed to a general critique of your partner’s character, you’re really referring to a situation in which you’re unfulfilled. So, better communication may not lead to a better future for your marriage since the feelings that produced the communication are identical in both cases.
#2. Becoming defensive
In the case of the article, defensiveness is reducible to excuse-making without accountability. The article advises a spouse to take accountability for complaints even if they are only 1% accurate. However, do you really want to be with someone who blames you for a situation that they are 99% responsible for? The article doesn’t say. It advises you to accept a spouse who blames when they are mostly culpable. Is that good advice?
Stonewalling, according to the article, is about shutting down conversations in which your spouse is airing a complaint. This does make sense because by the time one spouse no longer is willing to listen, it sends a signal to the other spouse that their situation will remain as long as the two remain together. However, the flip side of this is that you should walk away from a conversation in which you may say something you regret. There is no harm in processing your feelings and then expressing them when you’ve had a chance to mull them over.
Obviously, a partner who is contemptuous of their partner is no longer in a loving relationship. They are in an abuse scenario. If you feel contempt for your partner or vice versa, you should obviously consider removing yourself from that scenario since it will likely only get worse.
The Bottom Line
Obviously, marriages with communication problems can be rehabilitated. But marriages that are built on distrust and contempt are likely over in all but name only. If that describes your marriage, the Tampa family lawyers at the Faulkner Law Group, PLLC can help you untie the knot and rebuild your life. Call today to learn more.