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Tampa Family Lawyer > Blog > Divorce > Is Spying On Your Spouse To Uncover Adultery A Good Idea?

Is Spying On Your Spouse To Uncover Adultery A Good Idea?


The question of adultery has a profound impact on the emotional lives of spouses. But Florida’s courts don’t really consider it a major factor when determining issues related to divorce. In order for adultery to impact a divorce decree, the allegations must include financial losses related to the affair or allegations that the affair is impacting the children’s emotional lives in a very negative way. Otherwise, the Florida courts will more or less ignore the adultery and figure that was a good enough reason to say that the differences between the spouses are irreconcilable.

However, that doesn’t mean that some spouses don’t go out of their way to “prove” that their spouse is cheating on them. They will sometimes present the evidence to their lawyer to mention during the divorce. In some cases, we can use this information to help our client, but a lot of times, the information was acquired illegally. While people don’t go to prison for spying on their spouses, the information they gather cannot be used in court to influence the decision of the court. So, in most cases, it doesn’t make sense to put the effort in unless you really need to know, are being lied to, and the gaslighting is impacting your psychological health.

Cheaters abuse by lying 

While the courts aren’t necessarily on the cutting edge of psychology and social sciences, a savvy attorney can argue on behalf of a client who was cheated on by discussing the emotional fallout caused by the lying. Ultimately, this could be said to impact the children’s lives as well because they were also lied to. In most cases, the cheating itself is less of a problem than the idea that a spouse committed to a reality that turned out to be fake. In other words, the constant lying is more of an issue than the affair.

The concept of gaslighting gets overused in the context of arguments or conflict discourse, but the truth is that it is very damaging to the psychological health of those who are suffering from the gaslighting. Not all cheaters gaslight their spouses, but they often attempt to convince them they are not cheating by undermining their instincts and intuition. A savvy attorney can use evidence of tactical and sustained lying as evidence that the spouse or parent is a dangerous influence on the children.

In these situations, the cheating itself will not help your divorce settle your way. However, the conduct that sustained the cheating can be used to make arguments against the other spouse. Typically, cheaters spend money on their affairs and this too can be used to negotiate a better divorce settlement.

Talk to a Tampa Divorce Lawyer Today 

Considering divorce because of an affair? Discuss the matter with a divorce attorney early. We may be able to help you exit the marriage, prove financial losses, and establish that your spouse’s conduct rises to the standard of abuse. Call the Tampa divorce lawyers at the Faulkner Law Group, PLLC today to learn more.

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